


Girl Almighty

by peachyharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A little bit of self hate, F/M, Fluff, Gender Identity, Light Angst, Louis loves Harry a lot, M/M, Niall kind of seems like an asshole, Transgender, so much love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachyharry/pseuds/peachyharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with a tube of lipstick</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girl Almighty

**Author's Note:**

> unedited because I don't have time for that

**Day 0 -Harry**

 

It started with a tube of lipstick; the color was a bright red that could only be described as fresh cherries.  It was in Lou Teasdale’s bag and Harry had stared at it for five minutes before silently slipping it into his pocket.  

 

“What’s that?” of course, Niall, was the first one who commented on the unidentified thing in Harry’s pocket.

 

Harry’s hand had fallen to his pocket in protection and turned his body away from one of his best friends, “Nothing,” Harry muttered, leaving the discussion at that and Niall had backed away with questions in his eyes.  So now Harry sat flipping the tube in between his fingers, glancing at the door to his room every so often.  The boys were in Australia and they were staying in a hotel that Harry didn’t have the time to remember.  The four others were having a blast down at the pool but Harry couldn’t stop his insistent stare.  Finally making a decision, Harry pushed himself off the bed and entered the plush and fancy bathroom.  Looking at himself in the mirror he uncapped the tube of lipstick and pressed it to his lips, the color blossoming and staining his bottom one.  Harry spread the red farther and smeared it on his upper lip, then smacking his lips together.  Harry wanted to feel mad and upset at himself but he couldn’t.  He loved the feeling of the lipstick on his lips and the way it glittered in the light.  

 

“Harry!  Where are you lad?” Zayn’s voice rang out and the rustling of bodies came from the other side of the bathroom door.  Harry dropped the tube with a gasp and grappled with the towel to get the lipstick off.

 

“I’ll be right out!” Harry panicked as the lipstick smeared more, “I’m not really feeling well.”

“Aw, c’mon Harry!  We were going to go out and about!” Louis’ voice rang out and Harry blanched.  

 

“I don’t think so,” Harry’s voice wavered uneasily and he looked at the damned lipstick with despair, “I’m kind of feeling under the weather.”

 

“Then we’ll all stay here,” Louis finalized and Harry choked on a frustrated sob.

“No!  Just leave me alone!” Harry yelled and buried himself farther into the bathroom, “Just leave me be!”

 

It was quiet and Harry thought that maybe they’d left, “Okay, Haz, okay,” Zayn’s voice was soothing and that’s when Harry heard the echoing of leaving footsteps.  Harry stayed in his room for the rest of the night with red stained on his face.

 

**  
Day 1**

 

Harry woke up the next day and left the comfort of his hotel room with a clean face and the reminder of the lipstick stuffed in his pocket.  The boys never went to the arena all at once; it was more of a gradual meeting and then they’d begin their practice.  By the time Harry arrived he was the last one (which never happened) and the boys were sat in a quiet circle, obviously waiting for him.  

 

“Why’re you guys all somber?  We have a concert to go over don’t we?” Harry smiled but the rest of the boys looked to him with questioning glances. 

 

“What was with you yesterday?” Niall, with his unhelpful bluntness, burst out his question and crossed his arms.

  
“Niall,” Zayn muttered under his breath and hit Niall’s leg.

 

“What?  It was just a question and we all deserve an answer,” Niall spat out and Harry flinched back.

 

“That’s kind of mean Niall,” Harry said as he swayed on his two unsteady legs, “I’d never lie to any of you,” that’s a lie in itself.  Harry scolded himself and plopped down next to Zayn, “So, what are we working on today?” Harry tried to get the conversation moving but the boys clearly were not taking no for an answer.

 

“What’s in your pocket?” Liam spoke up, nodding at the unidentified bulge that settled against his thigh, “It’s certainly not your dick.”

 

“Liam!” Zayn spat out and Harry quietly thanked him.  It seemed as though Zayn was the only good guy in this situation.

 

“No, it’s okay Zayn,” Harry whispered and pulled out the tube of lipstick, “Lou left this a few days ago and I was hoping to see her and return it whenever,” Harry shrugged through his lie and the boys nodded.

 

“Then what’s really going on?” Niall mused and at that moment Harry really wished Niall would stop talking.

 

Harry’s face grew red with irritation and the twenty-one-year-old threw up his hands, “What do you want me to say Niall?  Stop bugging me so much!  I have no initial motive so can you just leave me be?!” Harry’s chest heaved and the four boys grew quiet, “I don’t want to talk about it.  Can’t you respect that?”

 

Niall opened his mouth but Louis beat him to it, “Yes, yes we can.  You don’t have to tell us anything if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Thank you.”

  
  


**Day 2**

 

Harry looked at the bags that were in the very corner of his hotel room.  He had bought it yesterday and the pink bags were not helping.  “Oh, are these for your girlfriend?” the lady at the register had asked and Harry had nodded silently, not telling her that it was actually for him because he’s having an identity crisis and he so dearly wants to be a girl, oh, and that he’s gay.  Yes, it is for his girlfriend.  Harry had fiddled with the bag before throwing it towards his two duffle bags that were full of his clothes.  

 

Now, Harry fiddled with his shoulder-length hair and tied it in a bun, getting off of the bed, and grabbing the Victoria Secret bags.  He had bought black lace knickers, solid pink, pale pink lace, and solid red with a bow.  He loved them but he wondered what the boys would say if they saw him.  They had a concert tonight, their first one and Harry grabbed the pale pink one as he tugged off his pants and yanked off the briefs.  Without any regrets he slipped on the knickers and settled back into the bed with a content feeling in his bones.

 

“Harry?” there was a knock on the door and Louis’s voice echoed from outside, “Harry open up.”

 

Harry jumped and buried himself under the blankets and sheets of his bed, “I really don’t think I should do that.  I’m feeling really sick,” Harry hoped Louis would fall for it and just leave him alone.

 

“Really Harry?  I don’t believe you?” Harry could picture Louis outside the door, hands on his hips and a scowl painted on his face, “You said you wouldn’t keep secrets.”

 

Harry grumbled and he could feel the frustration build, “Look, I just don’t want to see any of you, okay!  I’m not in the mood and I’m especially not in the mood to see you!” Harry bellowed out and he gasped as he realized what he had just said, “Louis I--”

 

“No, no I get it love.  I’ll be out of your hair now,” Harry heard Louis’ retreating steps and curled into himself, crying silently.

  
  


**Day 3**

 

“What is this Harry?” Zayn held one of Harry’s pair of knickers, the lacy red ones.  Harry had thrown them in the bag, not worried of any of his bandmates snooping into them.  Harry’s face grew pale as a chorus of ‘no,no,no’s’ rang through his brain.

 

“No, please, no!” tears glistened in Harry’s eyes as he yanked the panties from Zayn’s hands, “You weren’t supposed to know!  You weren’t supposed to find out!” Harry felt like throwing up and with one more breath he did, all over his boots, “Well, shit,” Harry’s voice slurred and he stumbled around, grabbing ahold of Zayn.

 

“Harry, I don’t care if you wear girl’s underwear,” Zayn said and he tore of Harry’s soiled boots, settling his friend on the bed.

 

“But it’s just not knickers, it’s lipstick too!  And skirts, and other girly things!  I’m not normal,” Harry’s voice was hoarse and Zayn smiled sadly.

 

“None of us will care about that lovely, no one,” Zayn brushed back Harry’s hair and fixed  it into a messy bun, “Especially Louis.”

 

“How--how do you know about that?”

 

“Everyone knows, he’d known since the beginning of X Factor,” Zayn pushed Harry’s feet into a different pair of boots and guided the boy out of the hotel room.

 

“Where are we going Zaynie?” Harry pulled out the tube of lipstick and smeared some onto his lips, “Do you still love me now?”

 

Zayn looked disappointed, “Harry you’re delirious and sad.  I’m bringing you to Louis.”

 

“No, no, no, no!” Harry shook his head, “He’ll hate me!  He’ll hate me because I love him and I want to be a girl!” Harry broke out into a sob and burrowed against Zayn’s side.

 

“No he won’t.  Now, you’re going to talk to him and get this all figured out,” without giving Harry a choice, Zayn knocked on Louis’ door and it opened.  

  
  


**Day 0 -Louis**

 

Louis isn’t stupid.  He sees the longing look in Harry’s eyes (it’s been there since the boy was sixteen).  Louis loves Harry although he’d never have the guts to actually tell Harry.  There’s longing in his eyes too.  He sees it as he passes by mirrors.  Louis has loved Harry since the lad was sixteen and when Harry said he was sick, he knew something was wrong.

  
  


**Day 1**

 

“What was with you yesterday?” Niall opened his mouth once again and Louis had to restrict himself from beating the shit out of his best friend.  

 

Zayn beat him to it, “Niall,” he hit Niall’s leg and Niall turned back, spitting out another shitty remark.  Someone would have to be blind to see that Harry wasn’t uncomfortable.  His body was tense and it seemed as though he wanted to disappear.  

 

“I don’t want to talk about anything,” Harry muttered and Louis nodded along with him, “Can’t you respect that?”

 

“Yes, yes we can.  You don’t have to tell us anything that you’re uncomfortable with,” Louis reassured and thought quietly to himself, I love you.

  
  


**Day 2**

 

“Harry please open up!” Louis didn’t want to seem like a bad friend but he had to do this.  Harry hadn’t come out from his room in a while.

 

“I can’t, I’m really sick,” Harry’s muffled voice said and Louis scowled at that.

 

Louis crossed his arms and spoke up, “I don’t believe you,” what Louis wasn’t expecting after that was for Harry to snap, yelling and then apologizing profusely.  Louis sighed, “No, it’s okay love.  I understand,” Louis’s body sagged and he walked off to his room, wondering what was the problem with his dear Harry.”

  
  


**Day 3**

 

A knock.  Probably Zayn, Liam, or Niall.  It was never Harry anymore, never the love of his life.  Opening the door, he was surprised to see Zayn with Harry.  Harry’s face was blotchy from crying and lipstick was smeared onto his lips, “What’s going on?” Louis tried to ignore the sniffles coming from Harry but he couldn’t, “Darling, what’s the matter?” that made Harry cry even more.

 

“You’re going to have to talk that out with him,” Zayn spoke and sighed, “He has some things to talk to you about,” Zayn smiled tight-lipped and handed a delirious Harry over to Louis.

 

Louis shut the door and guided Harry into his hotel room, setting the boy onto the bed, “What’s wrong lovely?”

 

“Zayn knows my secret and now you’ll know too,” Harry chokes out, “And now Zayn is probably going to tell Liam and Niall,” Harry was being so cryptic and the red of the lipstick made Louis’ mind swirl.

 

“What are you talking about love?  What secret?” Louis lied down on the bed and scooped Harry up, being the bigger spoon, “You can tell me anything you want,” Harry turns around and buries his head into Louis’ tattooed chest, mumbling incoherently, “Speak up darling.”

 

“I--I want to wear girl things.  A--and be girly,” Harry confesses and breaks out into sobs, “I kn--knew you--you were going to--to ha--hate me,” Harry stutters and tries to escape out of Louis’s hold.

 

“What, I would never hate you!” Louis laughs slightly, “You want to be girly and do and wear girly things?  I don’t care darling,” Louis shook his head fondly and rubbed at Harry’s bottom lip, “This color looks good on you.”

 

“You really don’t hate me?” Harry whispered and sunk deeper into Louis’ hold.

 

“No, I love you,” Louis whispered back and grabbed at Harry’s chin, bringing their lips together, “I have since you were sixteen.”

 

Blush crawled up Harry’s cheeks and he giggled, “You’re lying.”

 

“No I’m not love, you’re my sweet baby,” Louis cooed and grabbed at Harry’s body, “And I’m never letting you go.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this one shot went well. I'm thinking about doing a second part with smut in it and a further look into Louis and Harry's relationship but I'm not sure yet. Please comment your thoughts.


End file.
